10 Cozy Quotes on Life That are Toxic AF
I’ve created a list of barf worthy things that “they say” are true but I have found to actually NOT be true and on top of that to actually be toxic to my fragile, cynical mind.
Money can’t buy happiness. I know for a fact that this one isn’t true. I’ve lived it both ways and spending an afternoon sipping RedBull lemonades at a Vegas pool made me much happier than scrounging quarters for the dollar menu.
Love is all you need. No! You also need respect, boundaries, trust, honesty, alone time, and a pedicure (desperately). You can’t love someone enough to love you back or to “fix” themselves. You can’t save anyone with love. This quote is totally delusional and one sided.
“If you look at what you have in life, you’ll always have more. If you look at what you don’t have in life, you’ll never have enough.” -Oprah Winfrey. Another one that I have tested out in real life. I look at my children daily and I do not have more. I look at my crypto daily and it only decreases. I get what she’s trying to say here but the delusion is that there is no work involved. The delusion is that you can live on gratitude, alone.
“If you set your goals ridiculously high and it’s a failure, you will fail above everyone else’s success.” -James Cameron What I have found to be true about this one is that the grander my goals, the less likely I am to take the first step. The bigger the fantasy, the dream, the desire … the more overwhelmed I get about what is necessary to get there. I have found it is much more helpful to set smaller goals and let them get loftier over time.
“Spread love everywhere you go. Let no one ever come to you without leaving happier.” -Mother Teresa. This just seems like a hell of a lot of pressure on a single mom working her ass off to achieve all of her goals and everyone else’s while simultaneously loading and unloading the dishwasher. CAN WE PLEASE JUST NORMALIZE FEELING SHITTY AND MAKING OTHER PEOPLE FEEL BAD WITH US? End of the day… it cannot and should not EVER be your responsibility to make other people happy. That’s money’s responsibility.
“The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched — they must be felt with the heart.”-Helen Keller. Cute. Hellen Keller is just mad … because oh you know why, don’t make me say it. She is getting creative and I do appreciate that, but sometimes the most beautiful things ARE seen … and tasted. Beauty can be a clean kitchen, the taste of a Caramel Cookie Nespresso in the morning, an Original chicken sandwich from Burger King, cookie dough, cheese, 12 hour old leftover mac and cheese … ok I digress. Beauty is subjective, Hellen.
“Whoever is happy will make others happy too.” -Anne Frank. Oh Anne. Stop. No. This is so not … I don’t know. But no. This just feels wrong. (It’s fine I can comment on this, because I’m Jewish).
“It is during our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light.” -Aristotle. I appreciate the hope that Ari is trying to provide here but have you ever tried to see the light when you were down in the lowest of dumps, body quivering on the bathroom rug, clutching a beer and your last energy cubes? Sometimes you truly cannot see the light or even begin to conceive that their might be a light. You just need to listen to Cigarettes After Sex and cry.
“Never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game.” -Babe Ruth. Unless, of course, you are gambling your 2nd mortgage at the Blackjack table and you’ve already lost both goats, all your money, and potentially your wife to the dealer. In that case, maybe you SHOULD let fear stop you from playing the game.
“Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile.” -Albert Einstein WHAT?! This is outrageous. I see your life quote, Al and I raise you a better one from Carl Jung, “The greatest burden a child must bear is the unlived life of its parents.” You see, if we live for others it will only burden them. Plus my selfish soul would wither away and dieeee.
Here’s the takeaway folks: Money WILL make you happy, you don’t owe anyone shit (except feeding your children), don’t take advice from someone on the interwebs who doesn’t have what you want, and never read quotes on life, such as these, and take them at face value. Godspeed.